moday

So good morning everyone who reads my blog! I just woke up after sleeping for about 13 hours and I am quite proud of myself; haven't slept this well in forever. So as I sit here eating a muffin, wondering if I should take a shower now or later, I ask myself if some things are really worth it. But this is all beside the point, I ain't gonna talk about my feelings because I don't feel like it right now, but instead I'll focus on what I am going to do today; so I have to be at the dentist at 2 (I think/I hope) then meeting some awesome people at 3.30 and hanging out with them until my mum calls me home and tells me it's late.

I want to be honest on this blog, so I will start saying everything that's on my mind because I want to let it all out and because I want to find out what's wrong with me; but in any case just want to say (generally speaking) that honestly I am over everything, like I am honestly sick of everything and everyone (except Nora, because I love her. and some other people) . And right now I don't want people to think that I am saying that I don't give a fuck about anything, I do, I give a fuck about a lot of things and I gave a fuck before, but all I'm saying is that right now I really don't feel like taking care of anything, just want to chill for a bit, I've had enough drama the past few months that I also need a break, because to me having drama is like having a job or something.

''To create a better future, use your past.'' That's today's horoscope, and I kind of will take advantage of my past to create myself a better future. I truly don't want to run away from the past or the truth, since I know I did some stupid stuff back in April don't mean you have any right in the world to get back at me by hurting me. Honestly, we all know what kind of people do that (pathetic) but saying that doing anything about the situation is beneath me, I am just sitting here looking at all the times I was disappointed in you and I am tired of forgiving you when clearly you are beneath me. Would love to talk to you and not that I am in loss of words, I just have nothing more to say to you.

And as for the people who just use me and after that ignore me and stuff like that, I just want to say how deeply sorry I feel for you. Yeah, you got some, but I was bored as hell, wasn't even interesting, not one bit. You can go ignore me all you want, let me see you get a girl and if you can't you'll probably run back to me, but by then I'll be over it and I won't want you anymore, so too bad. NORMALA.

Nora, the one person that has been there all the time; I love you and despite the fact that you are leaving and that I won't see you as much as I used to, I feel like telling you that these past few months we've started to drift apart and it feels as if I started losing you even before you left. yeah Justin may be an asshole and he may have said some stuff about me that upsets me, but no I don't hate him and I am happy for you two, but it seems ever since you got together, you've kind of spent all your time sleeping over at his house or hanging out with him; that I barely ever see you anymore. Yeah we've been through some pretty awesome/awful shit together and I don't want to sound sappy or anything but you're the one I'll miss the most and I love you and I'll definitively will see you every weekend I get the chance.

A thousand miles seems pretty far

But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way

To conclude this wonderful post I would like to say thank you for reading :)